a day in tokyo

I smell pancakes cooking. I walk and watch the autumn leaves fall. I buy postcards and photo books. I look at photos on walls in galleries. I walk along a pretty tree lined canal in Nakameguro. It gets dark and I get cold. I buy drinks from the lane way vending machines. I get to intersections and do not know which way to turn. I walk in the rain.  I cross bridges and underpasses. I follow the bright lights to Shibuya and sit high up in Starbucks and drink a spearmint green tea and people watch from afar. I walk until I can not walk anymore. I  sit and rest. I umm and ahhh about what to eat. I annoy myself with my indecisiveness.   I look at funny bikes. I look in antique stores. I buy lots of stationary. I practise my konnichiwa’s and my arigato’s. I peer into people’s apartments as I pass and think about what it is like to be raised in this big ginormous city. I get lost in suburbia. I get concerend for the little kids who walk themselves home at 8pm at night. I get hungry again and eat raw fish  in Shimbashi.  I walk slowly back to my hotel. My feet are sore and so is my back.  I kick off my shoes and I fall onto my bed. I stare out at the bright lights of the city from the 32rd floor. I order an in room massage.  I fall asleep. I toss, I turn. I wake at 5am with the glittery lights of Tokyo still sparkling and the first hint of dawn. I am still wearing the clothes from the day before.  I fall back asleep. I toss, I turn. I wake to the hot sun beating heavily down onto my face. I stare out the window and try to decide what to do for the day. I pack my belongings and sit on top my suitcase to zip it together. I check out of the hotel. I go to a shrine I first visited when I was 12 and is full of nostalgia of previous trips. I wander around and take a lot of photos. I catch the subway to Roppongi and go to my favorite bookshop. I flick through books for an hour. I buy a photo magazine that I cannot read any of the words but the pictures look pretty. I visit a pet shop that sells monkeys. I am told off for taking pictures. I travel to my hotel to collect my belongings. I go to Narita.  I sleep the entire flight back home.

shimbashi station, tokyo, japan
Antique Store, Nakameguro, Tokyo
vending machines in Nakameguro, Tokyo
Nakameguro, Tokyo
Dog posters in Nakameguro, Tokyo
Trees in Tokyo
Subway station, Tokyo
Tokyo, Japan
Shibuya Crossing, Tokyo, Japan
Shibuya Crossing, Tokyo, Japan
Hotel room view, Tokyo, Japan
Tourist at Asakusa Shrine, Tokyo
Tourist at Asakusa Shrine, Tokyo
Tourist at Asakusa Shrine, Tokyo
Tourist at Asakusa Shrine, Tokyo
Tourist at Asakusa Shrine, Tokyo

Tourist at Asakusa Shrine, Tokyo
Tourist at Asakusa Shrine, Tokyo
Tourist at Asakusa Shrine, Tokyo
Tourist at Asakusa Shrine, Tokyo
Tourist at Asakusa Shrine, Tokyo
Tourist at Asakusa Shrine, Tokyo
Tourist at Asakusa Shrine, TokyoTourist at Asakusa Shrine, Tokyo
Tourist at Asakusa Shrine, Tokyo

xo

ben blood - Lovely Samm!

Julia - Love your words. Love your images. You have a way of making me wish I was back in these places.

Kirsty - Love it

aimee - beautiful words + pictures, this post articulates ‘for the art and adventure’ so very well xx

Spring - I loved reading your words I felt like I was there. Your pictures are wonderful.

Karen Kristian - Looooove this!! Makes my heart homesick but glad.

James - Well told Samm, well told.

Jessica - surely you know this, but just in case: you are all kinds of brilliant. xo

the end of november.

 

 

Taken along the Californian coastline in September 2011.

 

 

 

Its been 6 weeks since I last updated. I think I have thought about this blog every day since returning and not sure what to write. A billion thoughts, some ideas drafted and then deleted again. Never able to find the right words to try to say what I want to say. I think that is the problem with writing, we always want it to be perfect. I should know by now nothing is ever perfect and it is better off just putting it out there rather then only drafting and deleting.

I feel like I have had nothing to write about and everything to write about at the same time. So many mixed emotions keep flooding over me since returning back to whatever I can call normalcy. 140 days of suitcase living changed me, of course. Im not sure if I left or arrived home more confused about my life and where I want to take it.

The idea of New York floats about in my mind constantly. I deep yearning to be back there yet a hesitation hangs about at the same time. Being pulled in two different directions at the same time is a strange sensation. I just need to throw my hands up in the air and just trust I’ll end up wherever I am really meant to be. But I also know you have to be in control of your own outcome. Fate plays a part for sure if you want something bad enough, but hell, you got to work your ass for it too. If you dont hustle, you will look back and wonder what the hell you did with your life. So I am more confused as ever.

I am now living for a week at a time, with no idea where I am going to be in three or six months. It is kind of exciting to have this somewhat freedom in my life, as for the previous 6 years of being a wedding photographer, my entire life has been planned out over a year or more in-advance. But I am itching to know what is around the corner just so I can start planning some things at least, but for now all I can do is throw my arms in the air and say I have no clue.

Through all of this, in the process of letting go, I’ve also learnt that the creative process comes in waves and is something you have no real control over too.  Life dictates the creative process. I have no direct control. I can only create when I am reacting to something. When there is nothing to react to there is no overflow. I’ve learnt there is no point fighting it too much, sometimes the waves are big and almighty and sometimes it is just a little ripple and absolutely nothing. But it is good to experience the highs and lows of it all. The lows can be just as good as the highs. It is good to rest.

So I’ve been back in Australia for 6 weeks now. I am slowly adjusting back to this life. My main focus since returning has been on my health & fitness and spending time with dear friends. I’ve spent many hours running the streets of suburbia, burning many calories at the gym and cooking and sharing meals with loved ones. Life is calm and sweet at the moment.

One thing I have been focusing a lot on during this time is that I have been pouring my heart into other things that are making me feel. Mostly collecting quotes and finding images that make me feel and listening to music that makes my heart beat a little faster.

Enjoying the quiet time. Allowing myself to think. I think we struggle to be really alone with our thoughts. We are constantly connected to everyone and everyone else’s thoughts these days. I would like to go back to the days before we had internet readily available on our mobile phones. Where we could drive for 4 hours and not know what happened to anything outside of our own minds in that time. To spend 4 hours alone with just our thoughts and nothing else. Maybe it is why I like being on planes as much as I do, extended periods of time without access to the outside world, periods of time without escaping my mind.

The past two years has taught me what it truly means to be alone, to be completely by myself and to be okay. To crawl into my own bed every night and to wake up every morning and to jump out of my bed every day excited to explore another day on my own. I’ve learnt to become my own best friend. I am a loner at heart. I need time on my own to rejuvenate me.

Being alone obviously allows one a lot of time to think. Probably too much time really. My thoughts run wild at night and I struggle to get to sleep. I put my laptop down for the night, only to pick it up again minutes later and start writing profusely until the very early hours of the morning. Like now.

Writing has become a huge focus for me this past year. I spend a lot of time reading and finding words that make me feel something. Words that say how I am feeling more so than I know how to put into words of my own. Words that seem to sum up everything so perfectly.

I keep a tumblr page where I keep all the things that make my heart beat, mostly quotes and pictures. Little paragraphs of text that take my mind to another place. Words that make me feel, or words that are so well put together they describe exactly what I have been trying to say for years. John Green sums it up rather perfectly in a quote, of course.

 

Maybe our favorite quotations say more about us than about the stories and people we’re quoting.
― John Green

 

Words that have meant the world to me this week :

 

We are all full of ghosts, people and cities we no longer visit but within whom we felt incredibly alive, and there is no reason to pretend they never existed. I wish I could hold those ghosts closer even, telling them that I forgive them for any indiscretion I may have at one point tried to scrub away with a ball of steel wool. Because trying to erase someone completely only makes their presence in your life more pointed — they are an intruder, they are violating your emotional restraining order and reminding you you cannot escape them.” - Chelsea Fagan, How Do You Move On?

Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you I had no control over. – Anon

Everybody has a secret world inside of them. All of the people of the world, I mean everybody. No matter how dull and boring they are on the outside, inside them they’ve all got unimaginable, magnificent, wonderful, stupid, amazing worlds. Not just one world. Hundreds of them. Thousands maybe. — Neil Gaiman

I’ve been making a list of the things they don’t teach you at school. They don’t teach you how to love somebody. They don’t teach you how to be famous. They don’t teach you how to be rich or how to be poor. They don’t teach you how to walk away from someone you don’t love any longer. They don’t teach you how to know what’s going on in someone else’s mind. They don’t teach you what to say to someone who’s dying. They don’t teach you anything worth knowing. — Neil Gaiman

We all get lost once in a while, sometimes by choice, sometimes due to forces beyond our control. When we learn what it is our soul needs to learn, the path presents itself. Sometimes we see the way out but wander further and deeper despite ourselves; the fear, the anger or the sadness preventing us returning. Sometimes we prefer to be lost and wandering, sometimes it’s easier. Sometimes we find our own way out. But regardless, always, we are found. — Cecelia Ahern, Thanks For The Memories

Sometimes beautiful things come into our lives out of nowhere. We can’t always understand them, but we have to trust in them. I know you want to question everything, but sometimes it pays to just have a little faith. — Lauren Kate, Torment

 

Now I desperately want to delete all of this and start again.

I head to Tokyo this weekend to photograph a wedding. I am really looking forward to walking the streets of Tokyo for a few days. I am looking forward to getting completely lost in a big city. I am looking forward to the uncomfortable again. I am looking forward to all the creating that will come. I am looking forward to the day dreaming.  The writing. The picture taking.

Until then.

 

 

Michael - I’m so glad that you didn’t delete all of it! Whenever you post something it brightens up my life. All of these quotes are perfect and I can relate to everything you have written in this post. I’m glad you’ve gotten to live in New York City for the time you were here, it’s an amazing experience. Enjoy your time home, and enjoy getting lost in Tokyo.

From Brooklyn,

Mike

DAYS IN BUSHWICK

Images taken on a Fuji X-Pro1 and iphone. 
 
 

Before moving to Williamsburg a few weeks ago, I was living in Bushwick in Brooklyn. I sublet an apartment for 5 weeks off an Italian couple who had returned home for the summer. It was a pretty 1 bedroom apartment with a very large deck. Every afternoon as the air started to cool after a long hot summers day, I would sit outside and watch the birds fly above. I had never seen anything like it before. Birds do not fly like this in Australia. The Starlings would fly right above me and they captured my imagination like nothing else. The night I moved into the apartment, a large storm was forming and the Starlings were flying all over the place, getting caught up in the strong winds. It was absolutely amazing to watch. Every afternoon since then, I would sit out and watch them. I have not seen these birds fly over Williamsburg, it is only a few miles west of Bushwick, but I have not seen them since leaving Bushwick. It will be the thing I miss most about my time there.
 

The time I spent in Bushwick, I experienced this insane amount of creative energy, never felt anything like it before. I started so many projects. Ideas for projects were coming to me constantly. I even started this blog in this time. But since I have moved apartments, I’ve lost that creative energy. I am wondering why it is so.
 

Looking back on the month of August, I can see there are numerous reasons to why I experienced this all time high. The main reason that come to mind instantly would be that I was in an uncomfortable state. I was freshly back in New York after being in Europe for a month. I had farewelled my travel buddy Danny who I was traveling with for the previous 8 weeks. I was finally on my own for the first time in many months. I was experiencing living on my own again. I was in a foreign city. I barely had any friends in New York.  It was the first down period I had experienced in a long time. My heart was hurting.  The idea of moving to New York permanently was swirling in my mind.  The long days and nights were sweltering hot. Now being in New York for awhile, much of the uncomfortableness is gone. Im enjoying living on my own. The days and nights are cooler. I go running. I go to yoga class. I have friends that live close by and meals are shared with friends numerous times a week. I’ve made friends. My heart mended. The uncomfortable energy I use to create is long gone.  I miss it.  Time to go get uncomfortable again.

 

Jonas Peterson - Love it, Sammy. You make me uncomfortable ;-)

susan yee - go create <3

Sharon - so true

Dan O'Day - love this post sammy, i find your honesty as beautiful as your pictures. cant wait to see ya xo

Luisa Brimble - samm i must admit that i stopped checking out your blog and also in social media a while back. maybe because i’m just super jealous maybe of the life you lead and was wishing i have your creativity and your freedom to have adventure. i knew that your art & heart workshop is happening in the southern highlands soon and was seeing some images instagram. i then checked out that you have a new site and this blog and i must admit i was instantly inspired again and really loving the honesty and simplicity in your images. so true and once again it’s ‘time for me to get uncomfortable again’ – a challenging reminder to work even harder and shoot more often. thank you.

A MELDING OF TWO STRANGERS

 

Ive been subletting apartments off Airbnb for the past 20 weeks. It’s a strange concept that involves a high level of trust between two strangers. But somehow it all works. To move into some strangers home and live amongst their things, like they belong to you. Most times I never meet the people who live there. I do spend a fair bit of time wondering about who these people may be, the lives they lead, their careers, their friends, what makes them happy, what books they like to read. On netflix I can see what movies they have recently watched. I am a voyeur, that is certain. Most photographers are. I am intrigued by how other’s live their lives.
 

I moved apartments last week. I am now living in Williamsburg and subletting an apartment off a woman who has gone to Peru.
 

This little collection of images are a mixture of my belongings and the lady who lives in this apartment. I have no idea who this woman is. I do not know her age or her profession. I can only make assumptions about the person she is. Now you are able to make assumptions about me and this woman by looking at our belongings in these images. It’s a melding of two strangers who will never met but have slept in the same bed and drink from the same cup. weird.

 

 

 

 

Miguel Jimenez - Sounds like an interesting experience. Are you doing it by yourself or it’s part of a campaign for Airbnb?
Btw, is she a photographer herself? Are yours all those fuji packs?
And you’re right, photographers are mostly voyeurs, we need to guess what’s going on in order to get the best photo. In a documentary way.
Thanks for sharing these pics :)

john warren - voyeurs…………..funny I had to look at every pic……..very closely……….weird and awesome at the same time

Brilliana von Katterfeld - I love that she has colour coordinated her books. I totally get that. Wonderful images as always, Samm.

Jason Starr - That is a really cool project Sammy. Nothing like a snoop through the sock drawer!

JK Blackwell - I love that the books are somewhat colour coordinated :)

Sharon - Other’s lives intrigue me so and I feel a loneliness often, wishing other’s would dive into my life. Not just on the surface but the things you see when you live together. This must be so fascinating to see another by living in their home without them

joanna brown - This really reminds me of the work of the french phootgrapher ‘sophie calle’ you probably know of her already but the same intrigue, mysetery and voyerism and beauty x

link love 10/5 | ban.do blog - [...] spotted that ban.do heart hidden in a stranger’s house on samm blake‘s [...]

ONE HUNDRED DAYS

Crossing the Brooklyn Bridge. New York. August 2012. 

 

 

Today marks 100 days.
 

I’ve been thinking a lot about anxiety and how that fuels the creative process to an artist. How in particular, anxiety affects me and how it effects me creating my art.
 

I only create art, or I should say, good art, when I am anxious.
 

I dont suffer anxiety or panic attacks but I get very anxious. I am a feeler. My art is an entire emotional reaction to whatever I am feeling at that present moment.
 

The biggest thing I have learnt in my journey in becoming a photographer, a creative and an artist, is learning to pay attention to myself and learn about my peculiar personality traits. Learning about what makes me anxious, what makes me stressed.. most importantly what makes me feel. The best advice I could give to someone starting out, is learn to pay attention to who you are, to how you feel, to why you react. The how and the why are so important.
 

I remember a few years ago, so many photographers where giving out the advice “just be yourself” and you will find success. It’s true. It is perfect advice. But what happens if you do not know who the hell you are?
 

I was one of these people. I had no idea who I was. I know the things I liked and did not like. But I was not very good at knowing myself. I can place labels on myself. Labels are easy. I can place a thousand different labels on me but still not have much of an idea of who I am. I found in my search in trying to find myself as an artist, I had to move beyond the labels I had placed on myself. I learnt it has more to do with what defines you, through what makes you feel and what and why it makes you react.
 

A few years ago, going back to 2009 mostly, my business was the most busiest it has ever been. I photographed 60 weddings that year and basically did everything in house. I edited all 60 weddings and designed all the wedding albums to go with it. As you could probably imagine I was a busy person and as a result I was emotionally dead inside. Working 80 hours a week will do that to you. I really do not recommend it.
 

I was saving to buy a house. I was so proud I bought a house at 25 years of age all with my own hard earned money. I am still proud of that achievement, kind of, but it was stupid of me to buy that home. I put it on the market only 18 months after I bought it. I lost a far chunk of money on that house because I wanted it out of my life so badly. Why the hell did I feel the need to buy a house so badly at age 25? Why was I valuing material procession over experience and adventure? I would now choose the latter any day.
 

I remember thinking at the end of 2009 that I was the most uncreative person alive. I was completely burnt out as an artist, leaving me emotionally dead and completely drained. I was working on auto pilot mode. I was trying to find short immediate solutions to the problem, but I had no idea what the problem was.  I was not really paying attention to myself. I just knew I was not happy and my creativity had all dried up.
 

It was only when I began to travel on a regular basis that things started to come a lot more clear. It is obvious to me now why this is so, because I actually stopped working for once. I created adventure, I broke my routine and allowed myself the down time, to read books, enjoy being outside without guilt, immerse myself in new cultures, hang out with friends, meet new people, putting myself in uncomfortable situations.
 

Little by little, it all started to unravel and make sense to me. Creativity does not come when I am stressed and consumed in the mundane runnings of a full time business. Creativity does not live there. Creativity lives and grows when your mind is allowed to wonder and explore. Creativity comes to me when I am in some state of anxiety, because I allowed my mind enough time to go wonder and explore and it came back feeling uncomfortable. I allowed myself to feel vulnerable and uncomfortable and as a result, left with a dire need in express how I am feeling through the creation of something.
 

I have learnt I make my best art when I am at a very high level of feeling anxious. I try to embrace the discomfort of it, because I know something always good comes because of it now. I came up with my Alone portrait series because one night,  I was the most alone I had ever felt in my life and wondered why on earth would anybody choose to be alone. I thought about the differences in people, the ones who choose to live alone out of choice or the ones who live alone by circumstance, through either relationship breakdowns or deaths.
 

I lived all of 2011 by myself and hated every minute of it. But I filled my days creating art, working on projects and creating a new business. I was creating. I moved to Melbourne at the end of that year and moved into a share house. I started to create less art because there were distractions in the home. There was finally someone to talk to.
 

At the end of May I started my big adventure to the USA and Europe. I traveled with a friend for the first 10 weeks and I did not create any art in that time. I just took a thousand iphone photos to document my time away.
 

August rolls around and I was on my own again. I decide to live in a foreign city by myself for two months and it put me in the highest state of anxiety I have been in a very long time. I have never created as much I have in the last 4 weeks. It has been truly amazing. New York City is bringing out the best in me.
 

I was walking the streets of Bushwick in Brooklyn late last night, it was raining and was the eve of my 100th day away. I acknowledged to myself I had finally found peace with the role anxiety plays on my ability to create art.
 

It has been said that the greatest love songs ever written are by people who are heart broken. While creating these love songs, their hurting hearts and anxious minds, had no choice but create.
 

For me, I have learnt that I need periods of being alone in order to create. The uncomfortableness I feel when alone is what pushes me forth. I need to feel uncomfortable, so I travel constantly. I’ve become a vagabond of sorts. I live my life in stranger’s apartments I find on Airbnb or craigslist.
 

It is important to acknowledge the environment you need to be in order to create your best work. If you are not sure what environment that is yet, my best advice is to get out and explore the world, however far or near to home you can go, make your life one giant big daring adventure and you will find yourself and the right environment that you able to create your best art in the process of exploring.

 


“MEASURE THE WALLS. COUNT THE RIBS. NOTCH THE LONG DAYS.
LOOK UP FOR BLUE SKY THROUGH THE SPOUT. MAKE SMALL FIRES
WITH THE BROKEN HULLS OF FISHING BOATS. PRACTICE SMOKE SIGNALS.
CALL OLD FRIENDS, AND LISTEN FOR ECHOES OF DISTANT VOICES.
ORGANIZE YOUR CALENDAR. DREAM OF THE BEACH. LOOK EACH WAY
FOR THE DIM GLOW OF LIGHT. WORK ON YOUR REPORTS. REVIEW
EACH OF YOUR LIFE’S TEN MILLION CHOICES. ENDURE MOMENTS
OF SELF-LOATHING. FIND THE EVIDENCE OF THOSE BEFORE YOU.
DESTROY IT. TRY TO BE VERY QUIET, AND LISTEN FOR THE SOUND
OF GEARS AND MOVING WATER. LISTEN FOR THE SOUND OF YOUR HEART.
BE THANKFUL THAT YOU ARE HERE, SWALLOWED WITH ALL HOPE,
WHERE YOU CAN REST AND WAIT. BE NOSTALGIC. THINK OF ALL
THE THINGS YOU DID AND COULD HAVE DONE. REMEMBER
TREADING WATER IN THE CENTER OF THE STILL NIGHT SEA, YOUR TOES
POINTING AGAIN AND AGAIN DOWN, DOWN INTO THE BLACK DEPTHS.”

— Things to Do in the Belly of the Whale, by Dan Albergotti

 
 
 

Gabe - not really sure what to say but thank you Samm. i love this.

caz lee - i LOVE this, beautiful girl! so proud of you, inspired by you, and thrilled to have you as my friend!! xo

Kathryn Denelle Stevens - Samm, for me, anxiety is a result of feeling inadequate, less-than. It comes about when I get caught up in what others are doing and I begin comparing my work, my self. As a consequence, I go into myself and feel worse and worse and less and less. My creativity dies. When I push through this and interact with people, my mind is freed and I begin to feel creative again. It’s a vicious cycle right now, for me. I loved reading your account of how you’ve begun to understand yourself better and to harness the power of anxiety. I have thought about this a lot and feel that when I get to the point of most anxiety, I need to force myself to create….to better harness it and take control of it. Thank you for sharing this…I love gaining an understanding for how other’s minds work, especially creatives.

julie harmsen - Thank you for sharing this Samm. So much of it resonates with me and for so long I’ve felt shameful for it and have tried to stifle it or sheath it’s monstrous head. Last fall I spent a week in a tiny village of 30 people in France. I was surely out of my element with internet sparce and the air empty except for a few birds. I became paralized, unsure of what do even do with my thoughts. It was one of the most uncomfortable weeks in a long time and I thought something was “wrong” with me. It must have meant I was geting close to something. Thanks for that reminder.

pat furey - I love the way you think.

Thank you,
Pat

Wei - Thanks, Samm. I needed that.

nicole firestone - There is so much beauty in your honesty, Samm. I too am a intuitive feeler and made similar realizations a few years back. Your story is a great reminder of staying present with what matters. Thank you for sharing parts of your world.

em - the best advice I have read in a long time on what it means to be an artist.

Valerie - Thank you.

Xanthe Berkeley - Sigh… so good, even if your words made me cry x.

susan yee - samm, this is so, so beautifully written. it resonates so much with me. mainly because you point out how important it is to realize yourself as a person, and see how you create, and where you create from. i don’t have the same feeling of creating from anxiety, however, i do realize that i create best when i fully let go. and have absolutely no expectations. i feel like it sounds so simple, that’s what everyone does, right? it doesn’t matter, it’s what i need. i think travel pushes us so much because it forces us outside our boxes, and makes us really look at ourselves and our habits, outside of the normal, the everyday, the routine. just this morning, i wrote to myself that i am simply not a person who can follow routine. or a rigid plan. i try, i really do, but the reality is that i can’t. and that’s okay. i create from spontaneity, from surprises, from new spaces. it’s so easy to compare ourselves to other people, but the key is simply knowing where you create from, what resonates with you, what makes you create & “perform” at your peak.

thank you for your words, honesty & heart. i find it awe inspiring that you embarked on this journey with yourself, and that you’re doing it in a huge foreign city! what bravery. and the bravery of yourself, to put yourself into a place of anxiety often, to create. to keep pushing yourself.

sending big hugs and love your way. xo

joanna brown - WOW I totally get this, thank you for being brave, honest so candid and sharing your feelings and your fears and your process… I feel the same too, periods of darkness and struggle always bears the most beautiful fruit, it is part of the process to feel restless, lost and helpless, to truly connect with your soul and produce something extrordinary out of it. You are an inspiration I love reading your journey and watch your work evolve… thanks for being you x

amanda - What a fantastic post. Your attitude about getting to listen to your own needs and wants and really knowing your emotions is so important.
Thanks for sharing this, Samm.

JK Blackwell - Beautifully written – I look forward to sharing your creative journey on this blog :) Love lots x

Arlene - Samm, that is, I think, the best words I have heard from you. I love the bit that you said you would now choose experience and adventure over material, it made my heart smile. I love this journey that you are on. Keep adventuring and growing and learning. You are loved.

josh - you are a joy! a light in a sometimes bleak world. thanks for sharing your passions and being absolutely 100% you!

Myekie - Life is so complex and I know where I should be but somehow I let things get in the way. So many ideas that I have had in the past just get left inside the deep darkness of my mind. I’m so obsessed about being “Normal” and fighting the things that make me who I am that I end just perpetuating the darkness. “Normal” is just unusual goal for a creative. I have spoken to you about “Beautiful Sadness” I need to embrace this if I’m ever to get anywhere in life. You continue to inspire me everyday with your courage to take life on head first. Great Post.

Michael - You’re not alone! Thank you for sharing all of this! Absolutely love your thought process and I can completely relate to everything you’re feeling!

Sian | freshbysian - I just came across your Instagram, so I decided to check out your website too… And man do I love this post! (and your work)

I totally get what you mean about being alone.
I’ve lived in Sydney for the last couple of years, and I’ve been alone most of the time. But I’ve learnt to be totally okay in my own company, and I love it. I used to worry about being a weirdo, always wanting to fly solo, but now I just accept that thats part of me… And somehow being alone makes me appreciate the time I spend with my friends + fam so much more.

I’ve felt kinda ‘out of the zone’ lately, and similar to you, I think its because I’m getting too stressed out about the business side of things, so I know that I just need to step back and chill out… And get some more solo time… Which I haven’t had a lot of lately.

Thanks so much for this post. Its good to know theres other people out there I can resonate with.

Keep up the rad work!

Rachel - Perfect read in my life right now. Anxiety, busyness, creativity, finding the right space to make art. Thank you.

Janet - Sam thankyou for putting into words what some days seem crazy thoughts in my head…
I dont comment much on your blog (s) but know I love your work & what you do… and maybe slightly envious of your “free as a bird” state… but I know I have my own version of content and I’m happy with that, I just need to mix it up a bit more often & embrace the anxiety a little. Xx

Tonhya Kae - what a beautiful post. simply beautiful in every way. it was almost like reading my own diary. in a way. i feel i am definitely at that point where i’m just dead inside. creatively, emotionally, physically. i’ll be making another move at the end of this month and your post encourages me so much. change is about to happen..it may be uncomfortable, but i believe true growth and exploration will come from it. here’s to being uncomfortable. always adore your work, your thoughts, and your words. xoxo.

James Boddington - Just loving your posts here. Great to meet you recently and look forward to further insight and adventures from the land of Samm.